Finding Normality
by KlydeOscope
Summary: Falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back is hard. Falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back is harder when it's one of your best friends. Follow Matthew Williams, on his journey to find his own sense of inner peace, self worth, and normality. Eventual PruCan.


**So, I haven't done any serious writing in a while, and I figured now is as good a time as any to start, since Summer's about to come rolling in, right? Anyways, this story is a little personal to myself, so you'll have to excuse the occasional OOC-ness once in a while. Well, I guess you don't **_**have**_** to, but it'd be nice. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia, or any affiliated characters or trademarks, yadda yadda yadda.**

_Tick…tick…tick…_

If there really was a God, and he had any sort of concept of what the word "mercy" meant, he would make the clock go faster, even just a little bit, before Matthew Williams ended up exploding in a fit of boredom and restlessness.

The Canadian boy sat in his chair, silent except for the continual tapping of his fingertips against the wooden surface of his desk. Algebra had always held a special place in his heart as one of his most hated school subjects, and every day that he sat in that class, listening to his teacher drone on and on about parabolas and logarithms and other things he was certain he was never going to have a practical use for in real life, he could feel himself growing closer and closer to just snapping, throwing his desk up against the wall and beating his teacher in the head with his own 1000 page thick copy of "Algebra II: A Guide to the World of Math (Teacher's Edition)" until his face would be hardly recognizable to even his own mother.

Or, at least, he liked to think that's what would happen if he snapped. He knew that more than likely, he'd end up just tipping his desk over, and then picking it back up while trying to avoid all of the judgmental stares that his classmates and his teacher would be giving him, muttering out quiet apologies the entire time. After all, the boy had barely any muscle mass at all, and although he wasn't really weak, he honestly doubted he could manage to throw a desk up against a wall…although, that would be great if he was that strong. He could do a whole lot of things if he was stronger…

"Mattie…Mattie! The teacher is beginning to give you a weird look. Stop phasing out already and come back to Earth." Alfred Jones was Matthew's childhood best friend, and probably one of the most important people he knew. Well, to him at least. He looked over at the American sitting in the desk next to him, who had just finished whispering at him as quietly as he could (Which wasn't very quietly, since the American hardly even knew the meaning of the word) before looking over at his teacher, who was indeed giving him an almost menacing glance. He held eye contact for a few seconds, before returning back to the white board behind him. Matthew mentally sighed before turning back to Alfred.

"Thanks, Al…Although, isn't usually me who has to get you to pay attention in class?" Alfred just rolled his eyes in response.

"Hey, keep talking like that and next time, I'm just going to let Mr. Randell stare you down until you have two holes bored into your forehead." Matthew laughed quietly at his friend. He looked down at his notebook, and found his laughter quickly replaced with dismay as he looked at the few notes that he had actually managed to scribble down. Most of them weren't even legible, and the ones that were weren't even about Algebra, they were just scribbles of his thoughts on how bored he was. He was already treading on eggshells with his mother as it was, and failing Algebra was certainly not going to help him out any...

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!_

And with that, Matthew found himself suddenly not caring. He hurriedly shoved all of his belongings into his backpack, got up, and power walked to the door as fast as he could without making seem like he was in too much of a hurry to get out of the confines of the classroom. After Algebra he had lunch, which was definitely something that he was looking forward too, and his growling stomach seemed to agree.

**…**

Or at least, that's what he had thought. The blond was currently sitting down at his usual lunch table, Alfred to his left, Ivan to his right. He was nursing his sore head with his hand while Ivan talked.

"Matvey, are you sure you're okay? You have a pretty big bump on your noggin." Matthew laughed at his friend's choice of words.

Ivan was one of Matthew's best friends (the only other one being Alfred, actually). Him and Matthew had been friends since the taller boy moved to America around the time they were both in their Freshman year of high school. He moved over with his older sister Katyusha, who Matthew adored due to her sweet, motherly personality, and his younger sister Natalia, who was, for the lack of a better term, bat shit insane. They had a lot of things in common, including their intense love for hockey, and Ivan was a breath of fresh air when Alfred got to be a little much.

"Haha, don't worry about it, Ivan. I've taken worse from the people around here." Matthew smiled, albeit a tad melancholy, as he continued to rub the sore spot on his head.

"Oh, Matvey, now I'm sure that whoever pushed you didn't mean it. I'm sure they just didn't see you." The Russian smiled at the smaller boy, and even though Matthew knew that he was trying his best to make him feel better, reminding him how practically invisible he was really wasn't helping him feel any better.

Matthew was pretty much invisible in the school halls. He knew this because every other day, someone would probably end up ramming into him, knocking him and his things to the ground while everyone proceeded to step on him as he attempting to gather all of his things up off the floor. Well, it was either that, or someone would push him against his locker while he was trying to open it, or, like what happened today, push him aside as they rushed pass, sending him straight into one of the pillars that were ever so conveniently scattered around the halls to hold the roof up or something. He wasn't quite sure the reasoning was for putting them in the already cramped halls of his school, but he knew that he hated those damn pillars for existing and causing him probably another concussion (Not that he would ever admit it to his friends, lord no). Even if it wasn't really the pillar's fault, he could still blame them for it. After all, it was hard to blame things on people you didn't know and would probably never see ever again, right?

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Ivan." Matthew just smiled at his silver haired friend, who returned the smile back.

"You know Matvey, if you ever want someone..._taken care of_...Don't hesitate to ask me, alright?" Ivan smiled his trademark "sweet like no one's business" smile, and Matthew just laughed a little nervously, muttering out a quiet "thank you".

"Hey, I know what'll make you feel better, Mattie!" Alfred grinned as he spoke. Matthew could already tell that whatever Alfred had in mind would probably do a terrible job of making him feel any better. As much as he loved the American like the brother he had never had, the boy certainly had no clue what sort of things made Matthew feel better.

"Alfred, if this is about another party, I'm not interested." It was always parties whenever it came to Alfred. Matthew was almost certain that if he kept up his partying habits, his liver would shrivel up and die by the time he was midway through college.

"…But, this one will be different!" Alfred's smile hadn't broken. He was pretty dead set on dragging the Canadian to this party, even if he had to use force.

"Different how, Al?"

"Well…Uh…You'll actually have fun this time! I promise!" This brought Matthew back to the last time he had actually bothered to go to a party with Alfred. All he could really remember was taking a few jell-o shots before passing out, and then waking up the next morning covered in vomit. Worst of all, it wasn't even his vomit, but that of the person who was lying on the floor next to him.

He still couldn't be around strawberry jell-o without getting a little nauseous.

"No, Al. I'm not going. I'd rather stay at home, where I know that if I at least wake up covered in puke, it'll more than likely be mine."

"Wait, what Matvey?" Ivan gave Matthew a confused look, and the blond just laughed and mouthed the words 'I'll tell you later' to the larger male before turning back to Alfred.

"Well, I guess that's too bad then, considering that I'm the one taking us home, and that I have to spend all of my time after football practice preparing. I won't even have time to stop back by our houses, so I guess you're stuck with me, huh?" The one terrible thing about living across the street from Alfred was that whenever he was the one who took them to school, Matthew would always have to follow him wherever he wanted to drag them to. It wouldn't be so bad if he could get a ride from his mother, but since she didn't get home until around 9:00 at night, that wasn't really an option.

With a defeated sigh, Matthew muttered out a barely audible word of agreement, which was quickly drowned out by Alfred's cheers.

"Alright! Don't worry, Mattie! I promise that this party is going to rock!" The Canadian just looked over at his friend skeptically. He sighed again, lamenting the loss of the rest of his day before turning his attention back to the sad pile of peas still left on his cafeteria tray. Today really just was not going his way…

**And just like that, the first chapter has ended!**

**God I hate exposition. Oh well, it's necessary. Sorry that this is so short, though. I'll have longer chapters in the future, I promise!**

**But anyways, reviews and criticism are always appreciated. I'm always looking to further myself as a writer, after all. I'll try to respond to each of you individually too, okay?**

**Till next time!**


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